Family shows love by cluttering inbox

My mother and I had a slight disagreement recently.

Mind you, we get along great. Always have, and we always will. So for us to have any kind of squabble is a rare occassion.

Was she mad at me because one of my pants legs was tucked into my socks? Was it because I told her that after all these years, I didn't really like Brown Sugar-Cinammon Pop Tarts? Or could it have been that I told her that Pat Riley was an overrated coach (mostly stemming from my disdain for his 1980s Los Angeles Lakers)?

Nope. This time the subject was my refusal to read e-mail forwards.

I've long despised e-mail forwards. They clutter my inbox with third-rate attempts at humor (hey kinda like this column!), they're usually boring and more often than not, they spout false truths.

For instance, there's been an e-mail circulating that if you forward the email to 20 people, you'll receive a Sony Ericsson R320 laptop. Really? There's absolutely no way for anyone to track how many times a message gets forwarded, making it impossible for this laptop giveaway to take place. Besides, who'd want a Sony laptop (or any Windows laptop, for that matter) when you could have an Apple MacBook?

Alongside all of those e-mails telling me I don't love Jesus if I don't send this to 10 people (I think there are better ways to show Jesus I love him than by cluttering people's inbox), there's an e-mail forward warning of cell phone numbers being given to telemarketers (false), there's one saying that new U.S. dollar coins were designed with the motto "In God We Trust" being omitted (false), and who could forget all of those e-mails claiming that Barack Obama was a radical muslim who wouldn't say the Pledge of Allegiance (oh so false).

Heck, there's even an e-mail rumor that says Dick Clark, who hosted New Years Rockin Eve for so many years, became a vegetarian after seeing the giant ball crush a squirrel on New Years Eve in 1989. Actually, don't bother looking that up: I made it up. But that proves my point: it's so easy to make up something in an e-mail and pass it off as fact: there are too many gullible people on computers.

But my mother thought I should read forwards because every now and then, there was something heartwarming and fuzzy that would be worth my time, and for the fact that my grandpa and uncle Brett, fighting overseas near Afghanistan, took the time to send them to me.

I countered that they could have taken the time to actually write me a personal message instead just clicking the forward button. And despite that personal conviction sticking, I still felt a little rotten about it. Brett had sent me personal e-mails as well, why not check the email forwards too?

I finally opened one of those forwards. Turns out, it was a video of a guy doing a magic trick that showed a knife realistically piercing his hand. Slightly mortified and definitely disgusted, I closed out of the video as fast as I possibly could.

After that bad experience, I've decided that, for once, I am right and my mother is wrong (in 25 years, that's only happened twice). I love to hear from my family and friends. Communication with them, especially when some of them are serving overseas in the military, is vital.

To my loved ones who still clutter my inbox, I still love you. Even if I don't forward your message to 10 other people.

(Faber is an avid Boston Celtics fan and temporary Orlando Magic fan until they defeat the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals, a page designer and host of the Church Echoes podcast, available at thecabin.net/podcast. You can reach him at 505-1260, by e-mail at dustin.faber@thecabin.net, or follow him at twitter.com/dustinfaber)