My measurements of success

Over the years my methods of measuring success have been tweaked.

When I was in high school, I measured my success by my ability to get first chair in band, ace tests and still have a pretty good group of friends.

Through college, my motivation slowed and I knew I was successful when I actually rolled out of bed and made it to class.

Now, as an adult, I'm starting to measure things a little differently.

Sure the whole graduating college, landing a real job, getting married and, most importantly, delivering the most perfect little boy I've ever known were pretty big steps.

But now it's different.

And my successes aren't measured by the things I do.

I was assured that I'm doing pretty well for myself when I watched my son take those first wobbly steps into my husband's arms or more recently when he remembered to say "thank you" to the host at Mike's Place for handing him crayons.

I've come to realize that as a parent, although what I do definitely matters, it's what he does that defines my life.

I'm pretty sure the parents of kids across Faulkner County have already come to this realization, and now I'm right there with them.

I thought about that this weekend when I was at the Mount Vernon-Enola Quiz Bowl Tournament watching nervous students sit behind buzzers and even more nervous parents silently coaching them.

I first put myself in the students' shoes, as way back in my middle school days I could push a pretty mean quiz bowl buzzer.

That brought back frightening memories What if I got a question wrong? What if I was asked something I knew nothing about? If it was math, would I just scribble until the time ran out?

Then I glanced at the groups of parents tailing each group of kids as they moved from classroom to classroom.

I realized at that time that I'm one of them now. And from their perspective, it's even more frightening.

I could see the parents' desire for their kids to do well, mixed in with the fear of heartbreak if they lose and the stress they felt through their child.

Boy, it was a lot to deal with.

Win or lose, the parents still loved their students and it showed. The parents were proud of their kids for even trying to compete in such a tough academic tournament and to each one of those moms and dads, every student was successful.

Even if some of the students themselves disagreed.

And this, I think, is the epitome of every parent's mind set, mine absolutely included.

I have officially crossed over from worrying about whether I am doing the right thing to focusing on what everyday things affect my child and how he overcomes them. In turn, I measure my successes by his accomplishments.

And that little kid makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

(Staff writer Jessica Bauer can be reached by e-mail at jessica.bauer@thecabin.net or by phone at 505-1236. To comment on this and other stories in the Log Cabin, log on to www.thecabin.net. Send us your news at www.thecabin.net/submit)