McCollum's Column: Hawaii players’ names make for tongue-twisters
With football season upon us, it’s time for another batch of “David Citations” for the interesting, zany and downright weird in sports:
ARE THESE FOOTBALL PLAYERS OR MENU ITEMS?: The Hawaii two-deep lineup consists of the following names: Laupepa Letuli, Matagisila Lefiti, Vaughn Meatoga, Tuika Tufaga, Paipai Felemalu, Rocky Savaiigae, Po’Okela Ahmad and R.J. Kiesel-Kauhane. He has a Friday night football commitment, but this may be the real reason Steve Sullivan won’t be doing play-by-play of the UCA-Hawaii game.
THE WARRIORS ALSO HAVE SOME SIMPLER NAMES: Greg Alexander, Ryan Henry, Spencer Smith and Tank Hopkins.
IT MIGHT EVEN SCARE ROGER FEDERER: Dr. Allen Meadors, new president of UCA, relates how his son, Jarrett, as 5-foot-11, 220 pounds, was an all-conference performer in high school. “He’d rush the net and those other guys would run the other way,” Meadors said.
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY: One of the silent auction items at the UCA Purple Circle Kickoff event was a night out with UCA football coach Clint Conque. The winning bidder was Conque’s wife, Angele.
YOU DON’T WANT THAT KIND OF THING WITH SURF BOARDS, EITHER: After the Hawaii game, Conque is giving his players most of Saturday as free time. “My biggest concern is 66 of ‘em will all get on those scooters and go down the boulevard and have a mass wreck.
YOU’VE GOT TO MIND THE E’S AND R’S: When one Razorback fan heard the news about Louisville coach Rick Pitino admitting to an affair, he got that confused with a former Louisville coach and thought the news related to UA coach Bobby Petrino.
BEST EJECTION: This story was told about by Jim Bailey about the late Jim Elder during the Arkansas Sportscasters and Sportswriters Hall of Fame induction. Rick Honeycutt, when he was pitching in AA, once disputed an earned-run decision by the scorekeeper. He went to the press box to complain and the scorekeeper point him to Elder and said if the longtime broadcaster would agree with Honeycutt, the designation would be changed. Honeycutt began to complain to Elder and Elder ran him out of the press box. “The best I could determine, it was the only time a broadcaster had ejected a player,” Bailey said.
AND THEY DON’T PICK UP HITCHHIKERS: Gary Taylor, a standout runner for some of legendary Razorback coach John McDonnell’s track teams, said there was a tendency sometimes by runners to take some short cuts during practice laps near campus. McDonnell got wind of that and then put his team in a van and drove them out of town. Taylor said he told them, “Get your butts out of the van and run home. Let’s see if you can cut this one short.”
BEST ADVICE ABOUT ORGAN RECITALS: Former Conway coach Joe Graham said he’s hesitant to talk about health issues because “My grandmother used to tell me that 90 percent of the people don’t care about your problems and the other 10 percent are pretty happy you have those problems.”
AND THOSE AGGIES PROBABLY THOUGHT “F” STOOD FOR FINE: Valentine told this story about the late Texas A&M basketball coach Shelby Metcalf, who once had a player make four F’s and a D. He called the player into his office and said, “Son, it looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or david.mccollum@thecabin.net)
