Today we offer a variety pack of “David’s Citations,” for the interesting, weird and just plain zany in sports:
NOT A GOOD TIME FOR BIG BIRDS: Within a 24-hour period, the Vilonia Lady Eagles, the Mayflower Eagles, the Conway Christian Eagles and the Mount Vernon-Enola Lady Warhawks were eliminated from the state high school basketball playoffs.
NEEDED A GPS, FOOD AND OXYGEN FOR THIS ROAD SWING: In less than 24 hours, St. Joseph boys basketball team had to go from Magazine in west Arkansas, where they won a regional title, to playing a first-round game in the state playoffs at Marmaduke in northeast Arkansas.
ROUND-ROBIN SYMMETRY: With the exception of Russellville vs. Fort Smith Southside and Conway vs. Greenwood, every boys team in 7A/6A Central swept every team immediately below it in the standings.
SHHH...IT’S A SECRET: Former NFL coach and ESPN commentator Herman Edwards, speaking the University of Central Arkansas, said folks have wondered what his best play call is for third and 15. “I’ll let you in on something,” he told the audience. “There is no play for third and 15.”
THE OPPOSING VIEW: But ... Edwards said that when he would run a draw play on third and 15, a wide receiver would move close to him on the sideline and tell him he was open. “Wide receivers think they are like 7-11: They are always open,” Edwards quipped. “I just tell them, “I know. We’ll get it to you on the next series.”
EVEN RUSSIAN VODKA: Jordan Neal, the offensive coordinator for the Hendrix football team, played professional football in Sweden. So well, in fact, that he was voted “Import of the Year” one season.
FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE HAD RECENT BIRTHDAYS: From boxing afficionado Ray Rodgers, “The only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.”
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at email@example.com or 505-1235)