With a touch of imagination, here is a fresh bath of “David Citations,” for the interesting, zany and downright weird in sports — and there has been a lot of downright weird nowadays:
BEST POSTER: Circulation in social media from Southeastern Conference fans: A picture of AJ McCarron and his girlfriend next to one of Manti Te’o posing next to no one with the caption, “SEC: Real football. Read girlfriends.”
TIME DOESN’T STAND STILL: Men’s basketball teams from Birmingham-Southern and Hendrix played an entire half Friday night without either team callng timeout — and there are no media timeouts in Division III play.
BEST GRASSROOTS PLAY: University of Central Arkansas Sugar Bear coach Sandra Rushing said some of her players came to her before the game with Northwestern State with an suggestion about how star Megan Herbert could score her 2000th point. “They told me they had a play for Megan and I said go ahead and run it,” Rushing said. “I had no idea what the play was but it worked.”
AND JUST WHAT WAS THE DEFENSE SUPPOSED TO PREVENT?: In a ‘Keystone Kops” escape in the secondary, the Denver Broncos gave up a 70-yard touchdown pass to the Baltimore Ravens in the final seconds that led to an overtime loss in an NFL playoff game.
BEST SYMMETRY FOR A NEWCOMER: Texas A&M got its first Southeastern Conference football and basketball victories against the University of Arkansas. The Aggies received both their first SEC football and basketball defeats against Florida.
BEST NEW PHRASE TO REPLACE TEBOWING: “Te’oing,” which means having your picture taken next to an imaginary girlfriend or object.
BEST NEW QUESTION: What kind of effect will Manti Te’o have on fantasy football?
TRENDIEST MINOR LEAGUE PROMOTIONS: For one game this summer, the Florence Freedom in Kentucky will give out Manti Te’o bobbleheads to the first 1,000 fans. The boxes will be empty. In addition, a photo booth will be set up for fans to have their picture taken with their imaginery girlfriend or boyfriend. There wll also be an area set up for youngsters to engage in imaginery food fights. The team will rope off a special section of empty seats for imaginery friends.
And the Brooklyn Cyclones will hold a “Fictitious Friday.” It’s billed as a matchup featuring Sid Finch, the legendary fake star pitcher Sports Illustrated once used in an April Fools prant against Roy Hobbs of the movie, “The Natural.” The team claims The Beatles will reunited for a pregame concert. A petting zoo will feature a unicorn, a mermaid and a minotaur. Team organizers are saying they are trying to get the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. And catfish will be available at the concession stand.
HOTTEST AND BEST IMAGINERY NEWS TIP:
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 501-505-1235 or email@example.com)