With added football flavor, here is another batch of “David Citations,” for the interesting, weird and just plain zany in sports:
ONE GAUGE OF TEMPERATURE: Conway High football coach Clint Ashcraft noted one parent described him as having a “warm disposition.” He told the Conway Kiwanis Club he was pretty proud of that until he told his wife. “She informed me that warm meant I wasn’t too hot,” he joked.
WELL, MAYBE IN THE THOSE EARLY DAYS WHEN NATIVE AMERICANS HAD LACROSSE CONFRONTATIONS FOR TERRITORY: The New York Post had a headline in which the South Carolina-North Carolina football game as an “in-state” rivalry.
WE HAVEN’T HEARD FROM VEGAS: There is talk around Conway about which team has a greater chance at victory — Hendrix, playing its first football game in 53 years vs. Westminster OR the University of Central Arkansas against Colorado.
HOTTEST SELLER: T-shirts reading “Hendrix football, Undefeated Since 1960” sold out quickly in the college’s bookstore after students returned to campus.
HOTTEST TAILGATING: Before Saturday’s Arkansas-Louisiana-Lafayette game, where the heat index in Fayetteville for the 3 p.m. start exceeded triple digits.
HOTTEST FASHION STATEMENT: UA coach Bret Bielema wore a long-sleeve, turtleneck windbreaker during Saturday’s scorcher.
WEIGHTY ISSUE: Former Heisman Trophy winner Ricky Williams is an assistant coach for Incarnate Word. Cardinal coach Larry Kennan said there were plans to display the trophy in the university’s athletic offices but were concerned about someone stealing it. “Ricky told us not to worry; it’s too heavy to steal,” Kennan said.
BEST USE OF LEFTIES: UCA may be the only college football team in the country in which two of the top three quarterbacks are left-handed (Ryan Howard and Taylor Reed).
WE WON’T SEE YOU IN SEPTEMBER: The UCA Bears do not play a home football game in September.
NEXT UP, WILLIAM AND MARY?: The Hendrix field hockey team opened the season with back-to-back games against Christopher Newport and Mary Washington.
BEST BACKUP BROADCASTER: Steve Sullivan, the voice of the UCA Bears, allowed Arkansas Gov. Mike Beebe to call part of a series in the Bears’ opener against Incarnate Word. Although the governor was not as familiar with the personnel (“I know Smothers”), he stayed and described a “handoff to the tailback (Danzel Williams) and “Touchdown UCA.” He’s at least the second governor to do a segment of play-by-play on UCA football. Mike Huckabee took a turn with Rex Nelson and the Ouachita Baptist broadcast crew during a game against UCA several years ago.
BEST OFFICIAL ENDORSEMENT OF STRIPES: “I love the striped field,” said Beebe during his UCA visit. “I particularly like the gray.”
MOST HYPED MASCOT RETIREMENT: Shelly officially retired, after 17 seasons, as the Arkansas Travelers mascot during a ceremony Saturday night. The Travelers issued a statement that Shelly wanted to spend more summers with the family and rest his legs (probably weary after losing a bazillion around-the-bases races with young children.) The Travelers will have a new mascot, hopefully one in which most fans will know what it is. Shelley, a horse along the Traveler theme, has been described as a dog and a moose.
THOSE ROUGH BYGONE DAYS OF HENDRIX FOOTBALL: During one game 50-something years ago, Mississippi College adminstered a thorough whipping of the Warriors. After the game, one young fan asked Hendrix player Bill Wilson, now a federal judge, for his chinstrap. Wilson is said to have replied, “Son, you can have my whole damn uniform.”
BEST COLLECTOR’S ITEM: The souvenir cup for beverages sold at the concession stands for Notre Dame’s opener read, “Figting Irish.”
BEST HEISMAN TWEET: From George Schroeder of USA Today after the South Carolina and North Carolina was suspended for awhile by weather: “That suspension was longer than Johnny Manziel’s suspension.”
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @dmaclcd.)