Posted August 11, 2014 02:00 pm - Updated August 12, 2014 12:44 am

'The world's a mess right now'

It’s a 10 minute drive to the bank and back, but that was long enough for NPR news to depress the hell out of me.

It was a piece-by-piece unpacking of former Sec. of State Albright’s recent comment that “the world is a mess right now,” and Dear Reader, Sister Madeline has correctly stated the state we’re in.

Ebola is killing thousands in West Africa, and hospitals full of those patients make it such a bad time to come down with old-fashioned, rainy season malaria that nearly as many people are just staying home and dying of that.

Airliners aren’t falling out of the sky fast enough on their own, apparently, so somebody’s helped one blow its passengers into the upper stratosphere over Ukraine in a colossal PR disaster that so far hasn’t raised so much as an “oops” from anybody.

The best Putin could do was a smirking, blood-chilling promise that Russia “will do everything within its power to move the conflict in eastern Ukraine from the military phase we see today to the negotiating phase” that basically translates from the original Creepy Kafka-Esque Soviet Doublespeek yet again as “Prepare for Struggle, comrade.” 

In Syria, they’re using their roundabouts’ inner landscaping for crucifixions. Yes, crucifixions. It’s been a while since crucifixions made the nightly news, and I doubt more than a handful of people in Conway have ever thought about the middle of a roundabout as a good place for one.

If roundabout crucifixion wasn’t enough, the same gang of unthinkable lunatics has taken a large hydroelectric dam in their largely unimpeded march to sunny, exotic Bagdad. 

I hope everybody downstream knows where to send the check for the light bill now, because nobody ever commandeered a hydroelectric dam on a dare and I don’t know what you’d do with one — other than blow it up, of course — if you weren’t making local utility service part of the big jihad.

It’s barking idiocy, mewling acquiescence and grinning, murderous zealotry from all compass points. For lack of a better idea, I’m giving up thinking about why the world’s a mess and just blaming that tough and shameless bird that is reality TV. Always a safe place for blame there when you don’t know where else to put it.

A piece of advice for depression is to quit the news. Not having a day’s worth of psychological training, my two bits’ worth is to advise anybody who’s remotely suicidal to unplug the cable box and internet router NOW and hunker down for a few months, because too much of the Summer 2014 world news roundup is making even happy people think about stuffing themselves down the incinerator chute.