Posted March 4, 2014 05:01 pm - Updated March 4, 2014 09:32 pm

Wreckage in the fast lane: The three possibilities of "geauxjudgegate"

I was told by someone yesterday that there was going to be blood on the track this political season. 

But I wouldn't have predicted that I'd be calling L.A. to ask Charlize Theron if she had any official comment on a local candidate — a sure sign that things are getting very weird very fast.   

We don't know if Mike Maggio was posting idiotic bits of old-fashioned homespun misogyny and details of Charlize Theron's local adoption as "geauxjudge," but we know it's true that there's an official investigation into the qeustion. And I trust that David Sachar will get to the bottom of it. 

Very few people knew that the actress was in town, which is how it should be. Adoptions are closed proceedings. Nobody is supposed to know. We allow the judicial system to bar public and media access because that's what it takes to protect the new family from interference from the natural parent(s) and to give the adoptive parents a little "shelter" in forming their new family. It's one of a very few permissible prior restraints on 1st Amendment freedoms. 

So that's why talking about it is Breaking the Rules of the Clubhouse. 

But remember this — There are really three possibilities with this one as I see it:

• Either Blue Hog Report got it right and "geauxjudge" is Maggio, 

• Or "geauxjudge" is some other guy who happens to have a similar education history and is privy to some of the same inside information,

• Or it's an insidious but clever plot — a years-long effort to secretly build in a self-destruct switch for a political rival. All you'd have to do is post stupid stuff and leave little clues... If you're thinking about it objectively and seriously you've got to count the criminal mastermind theory as possible, too, especially given the timing of when the big red button got mashed. 


Any which way it works out we're talking about wacky racing on the opening lap. And if there's one thing the good doctor of journalism taught us about politics, it's that there are many rooms in the mansion, and there will always be wreckage in the fast lane.